Machismo

Machismo

1. A strong or exaggerated sense of masculinity stressing attributes such as physical courage, virility, domination of women, and aggressiveness.

2. An exaggerated sense of strength or toughness

Machismo is a word used to stereotypically describe the males of Latin America. In many senses it can be an accurate stereotype, and in the next page and a half I will provide the evidence for saying that.

As a disclaimer for this blog entry, this is a stereotype and while there are many men in Latin America who display this personality trait, it is not true of any of the men that I keep company with here. All of the male members of the Church that I have met have been wonderful people and so have the few non-member guys that I've met. So, I in no way direct this blog towards any male that I know personally in Ecuador.

However, I do direct it at all of the insolent, greasy, and disrespectful men who love to stare and gawk and yell and honk and say crude things to Becky and I each and every day. So, I'm going to vent for a little bit.

I don't enjoy walking around here very much. Everyone honks their horn at us, men are always kissing at us or whistling or saying very dirty things, or just blatantly hanging their head out the window and gawking. I got mad on the way to the center the other day because a man did that, I was disgusted with the way he was looking at us. Like we're a piece of meat. These dirty, greasy men who seem to look at us and only see a potential partner in bed. It makes me sick and wish that I could do something to put them in their place. Something more than just completely ignoring them.

Let me tell you about a typical walk to work. We leave our apartment and if we are lucky there aren't any men on our street, but this is a rare treat. Usually there are men in cars and they honk or stare. So we walk to the end of the street and turn the corner. We usually don't have any trouble in the 30 seconds it takes to get to the main road from there. So then we have to cross an intersection and besides more men in cars honking and staring there is a gross old man across the street who is usually waxing a car or something. We have to walk right by him and he unfailingly says many crude things to us, I usually try to tune him out and definitely don't make eye contact but yesterday the word "preciosa" or "precious" stood out from his rambling at our retreating backs. Sometimes I get really mad at this man because the things he says are really out of hand, and he's a rather persistent little bugger. But yesterday I happened to glance at him for once and saw that he is anywhere from 50-60 years old and has about 3 teeth to his name. So, my first instinct was anger and disgust as the taunting word "preciosa" hung in the air but then I found it a little funny. He only has 3 teeth. And has at least 30 years on us. It was so gross and disturbing that I actually laughed a little at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

So anyway, next we cross through a gas station and try not to get killed as all of the cars cut through to beat the red light. Now we are really on the main road and are stuck on it for the next 20-25 minutes as we walk to work. We are subject to an almost continuous honking from the cars that pass by, a mixture of taxi drivers signaling their willingness to pull over and give us a ride, men who honk to signal the same thing but are not taxi drivers, and then there are the men in cars who honk with the sole purpose of expressing their appreciation of our presence on the streets of Guayaquil. With each honk my annoyance grows and I hope to never hear another honk again in my life. Along with the honks the men like to hang their head out the window and literally gawk at us for 10 seconds as they pass by. Others like to yell things and say "hola guapa" or "hola bonita" which are both literally translated as "hello beautiful/pretty" but when said in this manner are disrespectful and unnecessary. But wait, there's more. There's still all the men we walk by on the streets. More stares. More comments. More anger steaming from me. More desires to throw rocks at windshields and maybe at a few heads too. Nevermind, forget the heads, on these men I would throw it wear it counts. So, we walk along the road and come to my favorite part. And when I say favorite I mean it in the "passionately hated" sense of the word. A construction site. Here the sidewalk ends, and not only do we have to endure the cat calls, stares, and whistles from the construction workers , but we are forced onto the street and just pray that we don't get hit by a car, as the impatient cars weave in and out of each other, everyone trying to beat everyone else in the race to the red light up ahead.

Well anyway, you get the idea. Welcome to walking the streets of Guayaquil. A place where countless men evoke the most negative opinions of people that I've ever had in my life. I hate it. I hate being looked at that way. It's violating. It's even more annoying because we never encourage it and are always dressed modestly. I can not even express the disgust I feel, which is sad because I really like going on walks, but not here. Curse men who look at women and fail to recognize that they are daughters of God who have personalities, knowledge, talents, needs, and values. We deserve better. I deserve better.